So today is National Compliment Day.
Who in the hell thinks of this shit? I bet some dickhead in a suit and tie, sitting at his mahogany desk, making $200,000 a year, that’s who. I mean seriously, if you have to have a “special day” just to remind people to give a compliment, then what is this world coming to?
Since it IS a holiday…and I love holidays (well especially those ones where I get presents), I have decided to jump on this proverbial bandwagon and take the opportunity to write my hunk-a-chunk a love text. Here’s how it went:
Me: Did you know that today is National Compliment Day?
Hunk-a-chunk: Oh yeah.
Me: Wow honey, you have a big fat dick. ~My compliment for the day….
(anticipating the wonderful words that my Hunk is going to bestow on me)
Hunk: And you have a very lovely vagina
A VERY Lovely Vagina? Really!?!? I just about choked on my coffee. I certainly didn’t see that one coming. I was expecting something like, “Wow honey, you give the best blow jobs” or “You are the best wife, ever”…..
Seeing as he picked the one body part that I can no longer see without a mirror, I guess I am going to have to take his word for it.
I have a LOVELY VAGINA…
Jealous? Don’t be…it will take time….and soon, one day, YOU will have a lovely vagina too!
So now that I know that my vagina is lovely and that all is right in the world, I can continue my quest of eliminating the piles of laundry that have stacked up in all the corners of the house.
Maybe I’ll even shave that lovely vagina of mine….