Sarcastic Wife

I don’t like the terms ”housewife” and ”homemaker” I’m prepared to be called “Domestic Goddess”.. it’s more descriptive.

My Lovely Vagina

on January 24, 2012

So today is National Compliment Day.


Who in the hell thinks of this shit?  I bet some dickhead in a suit and tie, sitting at his mahogany desk, making $200,000 a year, that’s who.  I mean seriously, if you have to have a “special day” just to remind people to give a compliment, then what is this world coming to?


Since it IS a holiday…and I love holidays (well especially those ones where I get presents), I have decided to jump on this proverbial bandwagon and take the opportunity to write my hunk-a-chunk a love text.  Here’s how it went:

Me: Did you know that today is National Compliment Day?

Hunk-a-chunk:  Oh yeah.

Me:  Wow honey, you have a big fat dick.  ~My compliment for the day….

(anticipating the wonderful words that my Hunk is going to bestow on me)

Hunk: And you have a very lovely vagina

A VERY Lovely Vagina?  Really!?!?  I just about choked on my coffee.  I certainly didn’t see that one coming.  I was expecting something like, “Wow honey, you give the best blow jobs” or “You are the best wife, ever”…..


Seeing as he picked the one body part that I can no longer see without a mirror, I guess I am going to have to take his word for it.


Jealous?  Don’t be…it will take time….and soon, one day, YOU will have a lovely vagina too!

So now that I know that my vagina is lovely and that all is right in the world, I can continue my quest of eliminating the piles of laundry that have stacked up in all the corners of the house.

Maybe I’ll even shave that lovely vagina of mine….



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